A woman is standing by the rail. Six feet plus. Stilettos taller than you and I. The type of heel you dream of in those dreams you never reveal to anyone or else face the look that someone gives when they flush the chain when cleaning the toilet and a piece of shit hits the once stiff upper lip.
She has been there for hours, like one of those people who spray paint themselves gold or silver and stand in the middle of the town centre frightening the shit out of kids.
I want to offer her a chair, but I know some burly bruiser will come along and tell her it’s a fire hazard.
Ludicrous.
Her heels are a fire hazard.
I want to send her to Doug Polk’s lab so he can teach her to play poker instead of watching it. Christ, she can’t see anything. I keep my eye out for her man. I want to match him to her in my mind; in those dreams.
Maybe we could train her to win the Poker Masters?
Would the organisers be like, “Shit! Someone get on the phone to Vivienne, we need a dress as purple as a bell end, and we need it right facking now!”
I blame Vanessa Selbst.
Once my favourite player quit the game, all the poker rooms have been taking liberties.
A purple jacket.
It’s not very #MeToo is it?
Ah well, I harp on.
Poker Central and ARIA Resort & Casino have announced that between Sep 6 – 13 the PokerGO Studios will be the home of the second edition of The Poker Masters.
In the first one, players were invited to compete in four $50,000 buy-in events, and a $100,000 Championship event of sorts. The player accruing the most money during those events was deemed the Poker Masters Champ and given a Purple Jacket.
That Purple Jacket is in the closet of Steffen Sontheimer after the German high stakes ace earned $2,733,000 a little something like this.
Event #1: $50,000 NLHE, finished 4/51 earning $204,000
Event #2: $50,000 NLHE, beats 50 entrants to earn $900,000
Event #4: $50,000 NLHE finished 5/39 earning $117,000
Event #5: $100,000 NLHE beats 36 entrants earning $1,512,000
Daniel Negreanu would later refer to Sontheimer as the best NLHE player in the world. The Poker Masters organisers didn’t think so. They refused to admit Sontheimer into the 2018 Super High Roller Bowl (SHRB). Only when Andrew Robl bailed out at the last minute did Sontheimer get a seat.
It’s a German thing.
Wait.
Yeah.
It was definitely a German thing.
The New Set Up
There are a few changes to note the second time around.
There are seven events, not five, and the buy-in has come down across the board, only for the organisers to equalise things by making all games bar the $50,000 buy-in a double re-entry.
Here is the lineup.
Sep 6: Event #1: $10,000 NLHE (two-days)
Sep 7: Event #2: $25,000 NLHE (two days)
Sep 8: Event #3: $25,000 NLHE (two days)
Sep 10: Event #4: $25,000 PLO (two days)
Sep 11: Event #5: $25,000 NLHE (two days)
Sep 12: Event #6: $25,000 NLHE (two days)
Sep13: Event #7: $50,000 NLHE (three days)
Did you spot the PLO event?
Players competing in the Poker Masters can earn points towards the ARIA High Roller Player of the Year, and as a part of the triumvirate that makes up the High Roller Triple Crown (alongside the US Poker Open & Super High Roller Bowl) the point values increase.
There will be a 30-second shot clock, and five 30-second time banks, daily.
Players who register before 2 pm (PDT) get the benefits of a rake-free event.
All the action from the featured and final tables is streamed live (with a short delay) on PokerGO with the NBC Sports Network broadcasting original content some months after the event ends.
And all women over six feet tall will be barred from standing on the rail.
